The news reports that Michael Jackson died today. He seemed angry to me, when he danced. I never watched him through a whole video, and may never have listened to his singing throughout an entire song, but having grown up in America when he was performing (2 years his junior), I could not avoid him entirely.
I hope he found peace with God in his final moments. I hope he was able to at times touch his children and feel the same degree of perfection of fatherly love that I have enjoyed these past thirteen years while living in South Korea, teaching English. And I wish he could have lived on and reclaimed a spot as "King of Pop," for what it is worth, with a new and larger group of avid fans, more worldwide than before where his following was largely concentrated in the U.S., if only that he would then hold again a platform from which to sincerely repudiate in the evident wisdom of his old age the folly of the lifestyle he was generally perceived as having followed. Everyone makes mistakes, but in Christ we find the opportunity for redemption if we humble ourselves in faith.
This humility may have been with Michael, but under human skepticism regarding a wide public perception of a nefarious past it does not generally show itself to the masses clearly until lived down, which takes time. I wish that time had been on his side, for him to do this, as I could see this as perhaps his greatest task, and gift to the world of youth, for whom else could they better trust to repudiate such a lifestyle, but one whom they may largely believe had tried the wayward way in some plausible degree approaching the ultimate? But this was not to be, as God knows best when to take each of us home. Just the same, I shall say a prayer for him, that God be gentle on him.
He grew up in a wicked time, when the public demanded (and well rewarded) petulant displays of unchastened anger. I can think of no greater handicap than having the talent to meet such demand. Let us all pray together, then, for his soul. We, the culture, certainly got our use (our "temporal jollies") out of Michael Jackson. It would not hurt us too much to take some time to pray for him now.
I cannot believe that anything about his life was easy, despite the degree to which he may have perpetrated unsavory myths and thus brought difficulties on himself (a game at which it seems we all have some experience in some extent, in the abject pride of our sin), and I can easily imagine that things became increasingly more difficult for him in his old age.
I believe Lottie Moon is purported as having said something like this, "The Christian is immortal until God decides to take him home." I love that sentence. I live in the Orient and have been much inspired by what I know of Lottie Moon. I would like to serve as a missionary in North Korea and/or China. I hear she went into the hinterlands of China. I believe that I, too, would be very satisfied working for Christ in a small village.
I recognize that I have many hurdles before that could transpire, but that desire has remained harbored in my heart. My wife seems to have some difficulty fully understanding the strength of that desire within me, and I recognize that she labors under the fear that such places, particularly North Korea, are not safe, and being fourteen years younger than I, perhaps has some difficulty trusting Lottie Moon's perspective on a believer's immortality while here on earth.
Then, she also seems to have difficulty understanding and fully believing that I would not perfunctorily "shelve" the education of my children, but would first do as she desires and get our burgeoning brood of five (and counting ... if my wife warms up to the idea of adopting) into American schools where they can gain the benefits of education in English, and too, a freer thinking sort of education than is readily available here in South Korea, where a rote-memory, one-size-fits-all education has long been preferred, for fear of delegating freedom to teachers to try anything daring. She may sense any expression of my desire to do mission work in North Korea as a threat to her long term interests in guaranteeing our children receive time to have a thorough education in an American school system, which is understandable. But that does not temper my desire.
Studying theology is a salve to my soul, as it is perhaps the most practical means of me securing a way to go there and do that work eventually. A degree from SEBTS would garner me much support, particularly if I do my best and flourish in my studies, gaining the glad endorsement of my professors. So this is my current task, while I labor under somewhat heavy burdens of supporting my family, with money to live on, and a heavy dose of emotional and educational support, given that I am not just the sole breadwinner, but also the "de facto mom" of our family due to my wife's compromised ability to fill that role.
Well, have a nice day in Christ, my fellow seminary students.
Love, Nathaniel
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