The Anvil

How much is too great an emphasis to place on the self? Would Jesus purchase a laptop computer? I would guess that He may merely use one, but not purchase one. Should a Christian use laptops? I have a laptop, which I got a couple of weeks ago. It is a fine and amazing machine. I believe it cost about 800 dollars, enough to send me to an African village, where I take with me the Bible and let them bury my bones there. Which would have been worth more to the Lord?

"Thankfully" for me that choice has pretty much been made, as I have five wee ones, my progeny, depending on me to raise them, educate them in English. And I have a wife to care for now. She is afraid of living in a poor nation, or a cold one (her arthritis). The fear of a poor nation may be largely due to her desire to raise her children in a safer place. Beyond that, we may have more freedom. She grew up rather poor, in the lower social class of a developing nation, South Korea in the 1970's. Her father was an enlisted man in the army for 20 years. Her mother did not go to high school.

Looking back, I feel that I should have packed up and headed out to a village without any more preparation. Yes, I could have used some preparation, and seminary has been even more useful to me than I had expected, and I expected a lot, knowing that I had a lot to learn. But, the bible has it all. Even if I were never to have learned Greek and Hebrew, I should have been OK. Even though I was blithely reading and greatly enjoying the works of allegorical interpreters ... despite all this, I have confidence that the power of the Holy Spirit guiding me in my learning and the sincerity of my heart (yes, even then, in my early twenties, not yet finished an undergraduate degree in college) would have ensured my success.

All of this is the past, but I was just thinking about this now, and am surprised at how easily I can accept this, when before I did not know what was best for me to do. My grandfather, a Southern Baptist preacher in the Carolinas for 63 years, inadvertently advised me against becoming a preacher, when he said he would not go into preaching field unless he felt so called by God as if it were like an anvil falling from heaven to hit him on the head.

Well, the anvil has fallen, and it didn't hurt. So much for that bogeyman. Living and serving (leading English Bible study groups and preaching on a fill-in basis) here in Taejeon, South Korea, has removed fear and uncertainty from my senses. Yes, there are perhaps dramatic cultural differences, but still, they are just people. And they are sensitive to salvation, having a vested interest in it.

I am content to study now, as a part time student at seminary. I see that I am making great gains in my understanding of the Bible, thanks to the faculty and guest speakers here in Chapel. But, I see a time coming when I graduate, maybe 7 years later, and my youngest child is no longer dependent on me so much. He is now two. If we adopt no children, I would be free sooner. My wife wants to live in the same house for the rest of her life. I will pray that she will come with me, but I believe God wants me to go back out to a place which has a low percentage of Baptists, and start a church.

Love, Nathaniel